What makes you become great is your ability to build your skill set from your experience. You could open all the sets in the world, but if you don’t take anything from them you simply won’t improve. You’ve got to look at pick-up as a skill set. To master pick-up, or anything in life, you need to have experience. The pressure the field puts you under to adapt will transform you into a more attractive person, and this is where a lot of guys fail. They have all this theory running around their head, but without applying it over and over again, they will never truly understand it.
The fact of pick-up is that no matter how many flashy products you buy, no matter how many seminars you attend, you have to go outside and talk to people to learn how to become more social. Do you think if you read a bunch of books on how to become super-buff you’d suddenly have this amazing body without putting any work in? No, that’s crazy. You’d have to go to the gym, work out at least 3-4 times a week, gradually making your sessions more challenging to make your body more hunky. Just like pick-up, when you think about it.
The thing with pick-up is that experience needs to be analyzed to incorporate it into your skill set. Every set you do should be broken down into what you did right and what you did wrong. Depending on your skill level these might be big things like opening with a negative energy and insulting the group, or little adjustments like micro calibration.
After being blown-out a lot of beginners will say things like ‘She was a total bitch’. She wasn’t a bitch. You just did something that triggered her to be a bitch to you. So instead of getting all emotional, ask yourself what you did wrong.Did you have good body language when you opened? Did you project your voice enough? Did you neg her too harshly? Give yourself constructive feedback. Instead of saying ‘Well, yeah I really fucked that neg up’, ask yourself how you could have delivered it better.
Now here’s something for you to think about. When you go into set what outcome do you want? Do you want a make-out? Do you want to get laid? Think about this for a minute. Stop wanting things from your interactions as it can make you needy. Instead realize that as long as you learn something, the outcome of the interaction is irrelevant.
Remember that all this learning is great, but don’t confuse yourself in the club by analyzing every set you do. This will break your state and is pointless. Make a mental note of every set so you can think about it when you’re back home. Over-analyzing will make your brain start coming up with stupid excuses, so keep your thoughts clear in field.
If you are not actively trying to learn something from every set then you won’t progress as fast as you could. Focus on yourself and figure out what you’re doing wrong in set as well as how you are going to fix this. You have to push yourself to learn, as only you can build your skill set as high as you want it to be.
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